I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
