I feel great
I just peed on a car
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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