Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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