You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
