batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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