on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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