did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
