it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
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No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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