his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
