Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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