cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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