she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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