I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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