got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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