U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
