What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what day is it and did you see me today?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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