Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
