woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Randomize