I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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