make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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