The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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