I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
