fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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