Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
