Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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