nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
