I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
