At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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