The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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