you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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