So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
