i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
