Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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