chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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