4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Umm I'm too high to move.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
