We're like a lot better than the average bears
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
