Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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