If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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