I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
