Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
