Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
