ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it's like heaven, but drunker
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
