We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize