Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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