last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
