It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have aggressive nipples.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
