Small penises have feelings too.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
