I think i sorta joined a cult last night
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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