Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
