if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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