I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
