My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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