you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize