I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
