is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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