Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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