I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
