I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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