The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
