yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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