Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
