she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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