your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
