Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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